Who Calls the Shots?

Wow. 6 months since I last posted. What a great blogger I am.
If for some reason you have read all the way back to my first post about well who calls the shots.. I'm pretty sure I wrote something about how *I* call the shots.
Well *I* have never been so wrong.
The Lord. He's the one who calls the shots. He's the one who has the plan.
The gospel is true and the atonement is real. I know that with every fiber of my being. But that doesn't change the fact that I am human, and that sometimes I don't understand why.
So I guess I just have to rely on the Lord and trust Him with everything that I am.
Because, after all... He's the one who calls the shots.

Beautiful.

I think the world has a really distorted view of beauty. I think people let themselves believe too easily that beauty can only be bought, whether through lotions or makeup. That's not real beauty.
Sometimes real beauty is no make up and messy hair. Sometimes real beauty is sweatpants and a hoodie. And sometimes real beauty is being strong enough to get up and face another day.

I miss him.

But I can do it. :)

Don't blink.

Woah, it's already 2014. That's crazy.
I was thinking back a few weeks ago about how much actually happened and how much I actually did in 2013.
I went to Mexico in 2013. I graduated high school. I started college. I got my CNA and I got Med Tech Certified. I got a new job. I went the whole year without my brother. I said goodbye to the boy that I love so dearly, and now it has been over 6 months since he left. It was a great year. It definitely had its difficult moments, but looking back, it was beautiful.
2014 is going to be no different. A few things that are going to happen this year include: getting a niece in March and a nephew in April. My brother will come back around September or October. I will go this whole year without my Elder Reid. And that right there is just to name a few. Just the things that I know of.
What is great about a new year is that you don't know all that is going to happen. And if you did, wouldn't that be boring. I'm excited for this year and what it is going to bring. I'm excited for the opportunities that I am going to have.
A year ago I had a post all about new years resolutions. This year I have goals of course, but my main one is to live each day so that I can be an instrument in the hands of the Lord. I want to be able to help Him in any way I can.

Here we go 2014. :)

33 Days Until Christmas

Not this Christmas, not next, but the one after.

This song though.

If you were an ice cream flavor

You would be my favorite one. :)

In case you're having a bad day.

I've been having one of those days. And I know compared to some, well it would look like a birthday party. ... But for me, it's been a no good dirty rotten very bad day.
So, I decided to do something. I decided (and this just barely), that I was going to make a list of blessings that I have in contrast to some things that are just bugging me today.
-It's cold BUT I have clothes to keep me warm, and a house to go home to.
-I'm exhausted BUT that means that have opportunities in my life, even if they make me tired.
-I miss my brother BUT he comes home in less than a year.
-I miss my boyfriend BUT "how lucky I am to have something that [made] saying goodbye so hard."
Well... that's four, and I don't want to compare anymore...
So I'll just list a few more blessings.
- In 5 and 6 months I will have a little nieces or nephews or one of each to play with and watch.
-I have food that I can go eat at my house.
-I have a family who loves me.

But more importantly is this
-The gospel is true. You can find true peace, hope, and love through it. So this quote has helped me most today. If you're having a no good day as well, maybe it'll help you too.

Hello, November.

It's time for drinking hot cocoa and eating pie.

It's time for Thanksgiving and sitting by the fire.

:)

[Insert Sentimental Title Here]

As you look back on the summer of your life what will you see?
Or was there a summer at all?
Are you standing on the eve of a dreary winter without even realizing you had just gone through the summer?
As we stand there, naively wondering what will be, are we only hoping for the future? Or are we truly living the day? As you feel the crisp fall air brush against your skin, live in such a way that you can rest assured knowing that you made the most of that day.
So there I found myself. In between the eve of one day and the dawn of another. I was stuck in a limbo, and there was only one person. All I knew is that she would be there through it all, through the winters that would come, or the springs that finally envelope the cold after a harsh night. There wouldn't have to be words, the silence would suffice.

If you happened to be extremely confused about this post, that's okay. I was putting my hand together for artisticness for that nig in the pictures. In other words, that post was a joke. :)
However, I love Britt. She's my best friend... and this is one reason why.

My faith, your love, our freedom.

This song.

Maybe I'm just mentally unstable.

I love Mondays. For one reason. I get an email, well 2. One from my brother, and one from my best friend.
So come Chemistry time I am restless.  My phone buzzes, I check my email. My phone doesn't buzz, I check my email.
I seriously refresh that sucker about 50 million times.
And when I don't get an email around the usual time, well... I'm just a mess.
I can't focus in class, I can't focus to do my homework.
I have turned into that girl.
The girl that emails are like Christmas.
The girl that checks the mail everyday even though she knows she will only get one letter.
The girl that thinks about him always, and misses him even more then always.
But, I've also turned into a different girl.
The girl that has supported him for the last three months through every letter, email, story, hardship, and blessing.
The girl that loves him more and more every day. 
The girl that wouldn't have him anywhere else doing anything else. 
And you want to know something?
I'm okay with that.
Because every once in a while you have an eye opening experience.
And you realize how good you have it. Sure, you miss him. But you've still got him.
Sure it's hard, but it could be harder.
A 2 year sacrifice isn't hardly anything.
The gospel is so true. 

In the quite moments.

I'm so glad we made videos before he left. But it's nights like these where I watch them over and over again while tears stream down my face.
I miss him.

Baby run.

For a moment.

In the craziness of life have you ever just stopped for a moment? Just to look? Just to listen?
When there's a million things with a million people going on a million places all around you, do you ever just stop to feel?
Go for a late night drive, look at the stars, look at the city lights.
Take a break from homework, go look at the sky, or stand in the rain.
There's so much more going on because it's all part of a bigger picture.
But yet, you, seemingly insignificant you, are one of the most important threads in that picture.
Don't forget to remember that.
There's so much to do and be, but don't spend so much time getting through things, that you forget to enjoy them.

Do you ever wonder who you are?

Do you ever wonder who you are?

There's a dream taking wing, there's a voice that wants to sing even in the deepest darkest nights.

You were never called to bear the burdens on your own...

You were born to keep it burning bright.

As fresh as they come.

Yesterday was my first day of college. When asked what year I was (about a million and a half times), I would usually respond simply with, "I'm as fresh as they come."
Here's a few things I learned yesterday and today.
A. Don't EVER expect a parking spot closer then 3.42 miles to campus, at least at BYU. And if you happen to find one just below campus... well you'll be walking a million miles up that ramp thingy, or taking the stairs to hell (as I've so fondly heard them called). Either way, at least I get a little morning work out?
B. There are some weirdos. Creepy dude in all black including a black leather jacket? You're scaring people away. As I walked passed you I expected to get knifed. Guy with the mustard colored skinny jeans? No. Just no. Guy with the American Flag socks? Rock on, dude. Rock on.
C. Every single class you take is the most important one. Not. But I'm pretty sure that email got sent around to all the professors.
D. If you're walking through the Wilk stay in the middle of the walkway at least around the center court. Those people will try to rope you in and get you to sign up for things.
E. These next four years are not yours. When talking to my mom today she summed up college in a good way. "That's what college is. You're paying them to run your life."

Yay for college.
Yay for being a freshman.
Yay for all the building nicknames like JFSN, SWKT, BNSN, and Marb.

This is going to be an exciting year.

1/12

So I was cleaning off my laptop, and you know those sticky note things where you can have them on the screen?

Well, I came across one where I had written things from a conversation I had with my boy.

One thing you should know about my boy is he is very good at falling asleep, so during our late night conversations I couldn't ever blame him for falling asleep on the phone with me.

This one night however, he was basically already falling asleep, and making no sense whatsoever.

-He told me we were homies.

-He would answer random questions that I hadn't even asked.

-He said, "I wonder if when kids come home after curfew if they look like turtles."

-And, "I think elephants carry things."

- He said something about an ice bath with lettuce

But one of the last things he said was so sweet, and in the morning he had no memory of it.

I'm sitting there on the phone laughing and just out of the blue he says, "I want to go out with you."

Just knowing that even in his subconscious that he still liked me? That was enough to make my night. :)

Here's to young love,

that goes through a lot, but comes out on top. 

 Here's to being complete dorks sometimes.

 Here's to being 1/12 done with the time I have to spend away from him.

Call it Cliche

So I found this poem type thing.. and well, tell me I'm wasting my time, or it's not going to happen, or whatever you want to. 

I'm still going to share it.

The Missionary's Girl:

Somewhere between the whirl of teen-age dates and the responsibility of matrimony, we find a lone creature called the Missionary's Girl.

They come in two varieties... engaged and hopefuls. They come in assorted sizes, weights, and colors, blue being the most common.

The missionary's girl is found at home, missing parties (Just the parties that have overzealous RM's), staying away from dances (too depressing without ??? there), paying her own way to the movies, and buying stationary by the gross.

Missionaries love them, young girls look up to them, parents tolerate them, postmen hate them, and weekly letters support them.

A missionary's girl is a composite. She has the appetite of a hormonally unstable 18-year-old girl, the enthusiasm of a wet noodle, the patience of Job, the persistence of a stainless steel salesman and the imagination of Scherazade.

She likes letters from the mission field, invitations to his home, long distance telephone calls, items for his scrapbook, pictures of him, and other girls who are waiting (I LOVE my MGs!).

She isn't much for Saturday nights out on the town ; people who say, "Two years is a long time"; or  “Don’t waste your time” or the classic “ so much can happen in two years” , new clothes with no one to wear them for; sad movies and music; movies with love scenes; knitting; wedding receptions; little sisters who date; calenders; and "Dear Janes."
A missionary's girl is an odd object: She can get lonesome, discouraged, and temporarily lose faith in the whole missionary system. No one else can write such cheerful letters in such a rotten mood. No one else can get such a thrill at the end of the day by the words, "Why yes, there is a letter for you." Nobody else is so early to bed and so early to rise.(More like....Nobody else is capable of writing such competent, lengthy, and entertaining letters in the wee hours of the morning.)
A missionary's girl is virtue with no chance to be otherwise, faith with twenty-four months to wait, prudence with 69 cents in her savings account, and beauty with no one to give a darn.

Yes, she is all this, but it will all be forgotten the day he receives his letter of release and, upon his arrival home she will probably utter the words she once considered trite, "It hasn't seemed like any time at all!"
~ Dan Valentine

And long after you're gone gone gone.

I didn't sleep very good last night.
Maybe that's cause I knew that around 1 in the morning my missionary would be getting up and going to the airport, because his flight to DC was leaving at 6.
He got to call his parents, but there was no way he would be able to call me.
Then from an unknown number at 4:58 am I got a text:
"TJ"
Holy cow, I knew it was him. So I quickly respond with:
"Hey:) How are you??"
Then:
"Michelle. Call me:)"

So here I am at 5 in the morning calling a random number.
Then I heard his voice on the other line.
And I didn't even know what to say. I just wanted him to keep talking so that I could just keep hearing his voice.
So for about the next 2 minutes I got to talk to that missionary. My missionary.
Not sure how he swung that, but I'm not going to ask questions.
:)
All I know is I am one very blessed girl.

With my brother heading up on 10 months, and my best friend heading up on 2, I just have to say that the church is true and I am so grateful for it.

Brazil is a very lucky place.
And while Argentina is waiting, Washington DC won't know what hit them.

Sometimes.

Sometimes I just miss him.

2 years.

How are you supposed to say goodbye to someone who means so so much to you?
What words are you supposed to use to describe how you feel?

Sometimes, I guess there aren't words.
And all I can say now is that I am and will continue to miss this boy so much until he comes back in two years. However, I would not have him anywhere else doing anything else.
He is the best of the best.

God speed, Elder.

Don't blink.

It's been a while. There's a lot going on, and I've been crazy busy.
But, life is beautiful.

Stay awhile and just listen.

Somethin' like somethin'

Sometimes life is crazy.
And sometimes I cry a lot.
But that's okay.

One thing I've found is that if you love someone and they love you, and they are always there for you, it helps make everything better.

"If people were rain, I was a drizzle and he was a hurricane."

You feel like the windows rolled down..

Dear Elder,

This boy. This amazing boy. This amazing, crazy, wonderful boy.

Got a letter today.

So much anticipation.

So excited to serve the people of Rosario, Argentina.

Here's to adventures.