Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Thank goodness for music.

Yeah. I admit it. I might not have all of the best songs on my ipod..
I think it pays off when you feel like crap... and just broken down... and a song comes on that you can just rock out to...
It's glorious.
It makes me feel better.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Things are gonna get better, things are gonna be fine. :)

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas yesterday, I know I did. :)
I'm loving my camera..... I'm sure there will be lots of pictures put on here. :)

Food for thought.

Sometimes things go wrong, but things get better.
Sometimes I cry, but I also laugh and smile too.

But how often do you love me?

"All the time." Was the answer.

100% of the time.

"Standing here together, yeah we're gonna be fine."

:) Love really does make the world go round.

Thank you for everything.

Saturday, December 24, 2011


Well.... the car ride yesterday wasn't as bad as I thought. It was only ten hours. I watched Psych, took a nap, watched the 1st Lord of the Rings, ate food, and went to the most ghetto store I've ever seen, where the bathroom was in the back in this WAY sketchy hallway.... I thought I was a gonner for sure.

But it was worth it because...

Um. I love Phoenix. It's so warm. And nice. And sunny.
And there's orange trees. But seriously. You can go outside, grab an orange and eat it right there outside. Awwwww..... yes. Fabulous if I do say so myself. :) :)
This is a good day. :)



Remember Christ today and tomorrow and throughout the whole year.

Right now... I'm honestly happier then I've been in a long time.
I will definitely live somewhere warm (even in the winter), where there's no snow, and you can go outside anytime you want.
'Cause I'm not a fan of winter.... it really depresses me. But I'm in the warm sun now, at least for a little while, so I'm happy. :)

:) Love you all. :)

Thursday, December 22, 2011


Red roadside flower if I'd only picked you, took you home set you on the counter, oh at least a time or two... maybe she'd thought it through....

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.

Bob Marley

Just around the corner.

It's Tuesday.
Christmas is this Sunday.
This is crazy.
It really doesn't seem like Christmas. Still.
And I really want it to be Spring...
I am going to Arizona this Friday, so that should be nice.
60 degree weather I hear.

Where to start.. where to start.
I really can't tell you how jumbled my heart and mind have been the last couple weeks.
There are days where it seems like an awful dream, and you just want to wake up.
Other days where everything is alright again, wonderful really.

There are mornings where you wake up crying, reaching out and wanting something that's not yours.
I hate bad dreams.
I wanna be left breathless, not lonely.
I wanna wake up smiling, not crying.

Grr... how do I break this?

I guess everyone goes through things like this, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Too hard. Too much pretending. Too much hiding. Too much hurting.
BUT. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
So no worries I guess. I just have to stick it out.

All I really want right now is to go back to that day in August. Just to be there. There were no worries.
Just me, you, and the rain.
How I miss you and the rain. You wouldn't even imagine. ...you wouldn't even imagine....

I really just need some color in my life.
But you're my color.

There you go making my heart beat again...
Dear me, you're in a mess. Or you are the mess. Most likely the second. Love, me.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Wake up in the morning, it's not so bad..

Darn you boys.
If you weren't around, there wouldn't be so much trouble and confusion.
But if you were gone, so would everything.

It would be like saying good bye to dairy. And away with happiness.

But boys are amazing.
Some are real jerks... but then there's those ones... who more then make up for the jerks.
The ones that can convince you that you won't be a nun.
:)They're great.

So to all the boys who treat girls right: Thank you. Thank you for your smiles and laughs. Thank you for those hugs. Thank you for being there, and being amazing. :) Never stop.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

If life's a game I suck at it.

I give up.
Time to turn in.

REALLY not looking forward to school tomorrow.
Oh well.

Pretty soon I'll be able to sing, "Cheers to the freakin' weekend."

If you ever leave me baby, leave some morphine at my door..

I felt like that was an appropriate title.

That song was on this morning, and it's stuck in mah head.

Anywho. Time to list good things in my life.

-I didn't die last night on my way home.
-I have a stuffed animal gorilla.
-I have an uber warm bed.
-I had a nice warm shower this morning.
-I have band aids. (I cut myself while shaving.. my ankle bled like crazy... but band aids are nice).
-I have smooth legs with only one cut.
-My hair is naturally curly. (I'm not sure why that's a good thing... cause right now it's el naturel. And pretty funny, but oh well. :) )
-I have blue eyes.
-Mike comes home in 2 days.
-I have a basketball game on Friday. WOOT WOOT!!!
-I have to pain to endure.
- I have trials to grow from.
-I have heartbreak to overcome.
-It's almost Christmas.

"Be happy. Not because everything is perfect, or because everything is going your way, be happy because everything stinks, and you are doing just fine."

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Asked for rain. Got snow. :(

I don't really like snow.
Parts of this one road was iced over, and well I had lots of sliding fun.

Tonight... I'll be driving home at 10 at night... hopefully most of the snow will be gone/melted/not icy. I really just don't like driving... especially in the winter.

Prayers, yes?
But seriously.

Monday, December 12, 2011

I guess we can blame it on the rain...

Right now? I really need a summer rainstorm.
I could use some dancing, splashing, and laughing.

I love the feeling of the rain on my face, and my wet hair even if I'd previously spent 30 minutes on it. I'll take the rain any day.

Remember that day we talked about the rain? How if it started raining hard at a certain time we would each start walking towards the others house? And meet halfway?

It never did rain hard enough. What a bummer. :\

But that was just our [non?] start of adventures in the rain. :)

There's something about the way the dark clouds roll in, or electricity lights the sky.
Then there's something about the peaceful rain... you can hear it outside, hard enough to make you want to leave class, stop work, get out of your car... and just play.

Or like you, rock the air guitar without your shirt on. ;) Always a winner.

Dear summer,
Please come faster.

And I feel like a hum-bug.

Maybe it's because there is no snow... (And I don't even like snow)..
Or maybe ... Let's face it, I don't really know why.

I just am not in the Christmas spirit.

I'd rather it be Spring.

It doesn't even have to come, that's absolutely fine.

Sad much? I think so.

Maybe it's cause everything is so busy, tangled, and flipped upside down. It really isn't supposed to be like this. It really isn't, but it is. Good attitude, Chelle, good attitude. Right now this season just doesn't seem all cheery and happy like it should be. It just seems like a long winter, with no light in it.
Maybe I outta eat some fruit cake, that would cure me for sure.

On the up side, my brother comes home on Friday. :) I haven't seen him since August, and I just might cry when I see him. He will leave again in January, be back in April, then be gone for 2 years. Then by the time he gets back all of my guy friends will be going on missions. I just can't win.

I think I'm going to be an old maid. But all is not lost... I'll be a Mormon nun. And maybe I can [insert Mexican accent] love all the orphans in the world.

This weekend I realized some things. #1. I have no life (thank you angry birds). #2.I love grapefruit. #3. I need a paradigm shift. I just can't see how this all is going to work out. #4. I need patience, I need to learn to put it all in the Lord's hands. #5. When you love someone, don't EVER take it for granted. You don't know when they'll slip away. #6. Also, when you love someone, treat them right, love them so fully, so completely, so perfectly... #7. Smile. It's worth it.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Wanna know why I smile so much?

Because it's worth it.

So I'll go, sit on the floor wearing your clothes.

All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss...

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep, and I'll feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe.

I hope the sun shines, and it's a beautiful day... something reminds you, you wish you had stayed..

Your name, forever the name on my lips.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Another Reason. :)

Me: "When can I call?"
Him: "NEVER."
Me: "GAH!!! PLEASE!!!"
Him: "Only if you will do one thing right now....well two things."
Me: "What are they?"
Him: "Are you ready?"
Me: "For?"
Him: "The two things."
Me: "Yes. Go."
Him: "Jump around in a circle like a goofy goober and send me a picture of you nose scrunching."
Me: *Takes pictures. Sends*
Him: ":) :) :) just made my day :)"

I love us.

Don't you ever grow up.

Unfortunately I kind of want to grow up. But only part way.
I wanna get out of high school, or at least fast forward a few months to the summer where I will [hopefully] but CERT trained, and be a lifeguard.
I wanna skip forward to those days with him.
I wanna skip forward to a year from this spring where I will [hopefully] be running with an ambulance crew.
I wanna skip forward to college where I will be learning how to help others, and have a good effect.
I wanna skip forward to when I'll be about to get married.
Then there I can slow down..
I wanna be a mom, and have a family...

I feel like I talk about this a lot... but I really am ready to just... go somewhere and be someone.
But for right now I have to wait.

I hate being patient.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Well. That Carton of ice cream is no more.

(I'll apologize in advance for the bluntness.)
I feel that my hormones have been getting the worst of me lately.
And this NEVER happens.
And it's not even that time.
But seriously.
Maybe I'm pregnant or something. It must be the or something cause I'm not pregnant.
But really.
The other day I had a mental breakdown.
That's only happened once before and it was for a plausible cause.
This time I really don't have an excuse. Sure I was stressed, but I usually handle it pretty well.
This time I just.. yeah.
I had to tell myself to breathe.
And then I just barely ate a ton of ice cream.
(Not that I don't do that anyways... but still.)
Oh well.
Being a girl is great.
Except for not really being able to play tackle football.
Cause can you imagine a pissed off girl at that time? Nothing would stop her.
It'd be great.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

This is why I love you.

Oh. And these are just a few reasons.

Because you call me beautiful.

Because you play with my hair and kiss my forehead.

Because you say the cutest things.

Because you give me butterflies.

Because we make plans together.

Because I can be myself around you.

Because you're not afraid to let me in.

Because you tell me things like how we should get married an hour after you get off your mission, and the fact that you have to be released first is just one more detail.

Because you tell me to never stop being beautiful. When I didn't even know I'd started.

Because you love my eyes.

Because you love my smile.

Because you can make me laugh when I didn't even want to smile.

Because you know when I'm not okay.

Because you get me daisys on horrible days.

Because you get me a stuffed animal gorilla that can be warmed up on my birthday.

Because we pretend that we're six.

Because your eyes could melt any girl.

Because you have the best personality and kindest heart.

Because you're sincere in your compliments.

Because even after a week of camping, while on a hike when looking down from a mountain at an amazing and beautiful view, you just shrug and say, "I've seen better." And I smile because I know you're talking about me.

Because we can know what the other is thinking without even having to say it.

Because you'll stay by my side.

Because you'll hold me when I'm hurting.

Because you tell me that it's okay to cry.

Because I can trust you with anything.

Because you give me your clothes.

Because you give me your cologne while your away so I fall asleep wearing your clothes, whose smell reminds me of you.

Because you gave me a necklace that you made to always remind me that I'm a princess.

Because you change yourself to be a better you for me.

Because you waited a long time for me.

Because you were willing to wait even longer.

Because you trust me.

Because you hug me from behind.

Because you treat me right.

Because you make me know that I'm worth a lot.

Because I'm worth everything to you.

Because you gave me your heart.

Because you're my best friend.

Because you love me for me.

I love you.

Candy Canes and Mistletoe.

Happy December.
Time to reminisce.
December last year.
Kisses and hugs.
Laughter and tears.
Joy and happiness.
Pain and heartache.
Staying up most of the night.