Keep your head up.

Random thoughts.

"A man who treats his woman like a princess is prove that he was born and raised in the arms of a queen."

So, sometimes I struggle. Like a lot.

This weekend has been hard. Really hard.

So I was praying for an answer, for a stepping stone in my seemingly life of stumbling blocks.

In church it hit me. I wanted things to get easier. I don't want them to be this hard. Because I don't like it, I just break down. I can only be strong for so long.

The Lord always answers our prayers. Sometimes it's yes, other times it's not yet, and sometimes it's no.

Today my answer was, "No. It's not going to get easier, but you're going to get stronger."

As much as .. well I still don't like it, because the last few days I can't even help myself up. I literally have been on the ground. And I don't like being stepped on.

And.. well...

Another thing.

Don't worry. I can wait. I can wait for you in faith and hope. Sometimes the whole thing gets me down, but I'll manage to get back up again.

I don't know how to explain this. People tell me to get over it, to move on.

But everything inside me screams to hold on a while longer. Not just my heart, everything in my brain as well. It just somehow makes complete sense to me. I don't know how to explain it, but it makes sense. It feels right. And every time I try, or think about what it would be like, once again everything inside me screams, "Not yet. Hold on. Do not let go."

So, somehow it will work out.

"But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting. You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting. And if you chose to walk away, I'd still be right here waiting."

I told you that before all of this happened.

And now I'm here waiting, keeping my promise.

"Be that strong girl that everyone knew would make it through the worst. Be that fearless girl, the one that who would dare to do anything. Be that independent girl who didn't need a man. Be that girl who never backed down." -Taylor Swift

Even though I do need you, more then you could ever know... I'm going to be that girl to the best of my ability.