Monday, September 30, 2013

Maybe I'm just mentally unstable.

I love Mondays. For one reason. I get an email, well 2. One from my brother, and one from my best friend.
So come Chemistry time I am restless.  My phone buzzes, I check my email. My phone doesn't buzz, I check my email.
I seriously refresh that sucker about 50 million times.
And when I don't get an email around the usual time, well... I'm just a mess.
I can't focus in class, I can't focus to do my homework.
I have turned into that girl.
The girl that emails are like Christmas.
The girl that checks the mail everyday even though she knows she will only get one letter.
The girl that thinks about him always, and misses him even more then always.
But, I've also turned into a different girl.
The girl that has supported him for the last three months through every letter, email, story, hardship, and blessing.
The girl that loves him more and more every day. 
The girl that wouldn't have him anywhere else doing anything else. 
And you want to know something?
I'm okay with that.
Because every once in a while you have an eye opening experience.
And you realize how good you have it. Sure, you miss him. But you've still got him.
Sure it's hard, but it could be harder.
A 2 year sacrifice isn't hardly anything.
The gospel is so true. 

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

In the quite moments.

I'm so glad we made videos before he left. But it's nights like these where I watch them over and over again while tears stream down my face.
I miss him.

Monday, September 16, 2013

For a moment.

In the craziness of life have you ever just stopped for a moment? Just to look? Just to listen?
When there's a million things with a million people going on a million places all around you, do you ever just stop to feel?
Go for a late night drive, look at the stars, look at the city lights.
Take a break from homework, go look at the sky, or stand in the rain.
There's so much more going on because it's all part of a bigger picture.
But yet, you, seemingly insignificant you, are one of the most important threads in that picture.
Don't forget to remember that.
There's so much to do and be, but don't spend so much time getting through things, that you forget to enjoy them.

Do you ever wonder who you are?

Do you ever wonder who you are?
There's a dream taking wing, there's a voice that wants to sing even in the deepest darkest nights.

You were never called to bear the burdens on your own...

You were born to keep it burning bright.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

As fresh as they come.

Yesterday was my first day of college. When asked what year I was (about a million and a half times), I would usually respond simply with, "I'm as fresh as they come."
Here's a few things I learned yesterday and today.
A. Don't EVER expect a parking spot closer then 3.42 miles to campus, at least at BYU. And if you happen to find one just below campus... well you'll be walking a million miles up that ramp thingy, or taking the stairs to hell (as I've so fondly heard them called). Either way, at least I get a little morning work out?
B. There are some weirdos. Creepy dude in all black including a black leather jacket? You're scaring people away. As I walked passed you I expected to get knifed. Guy with the mustard colored skinny jeans? No. Just no. Guy with the American Flag socks? Rock on, dude. Rock on.
C. Every single class you take is the most important one. Not. But I'm pretty sure that email got sent around to all the professors.
D. If you're walking through the Wilk stay in the middle of the walkway at least around the center court. Those people will try to rope you in and get you to sign up for things.
E. These next four years are not yours. When talking to my mom today she summed up college in a good way. "That's what college is. You're paying them to run your life."

Yay for college.
Yay for being a freshman.
Yay for all the building nicknames like JFSN, SWKT, BNSN, and Marb.

This is going to be an exciting year.

Monday, September 2, 2013


So I was cleaning off my laptop, and you know those sticky note things where you can have them on the screen?
Well, I came across one where I had written things from a conversation I had with my boy.
One thing you should know about my boy is he is very good at falling asleep, so during our late night conversations I couldn't ever blame him for falling asleep on the phone with me.
This one night however, he was basically already falling asleep, and making no sense whatsoever.
-He told me we were homies.
-He would answer random questions that I hadn't even asked.
-He said, "I wonder if when kids come home after curfew if they look like turtles."
-And, "I think elephants carry things."
- He said something about an ice bath with lettuce

But one of the last things he said was so sweet, and in the morning he had no memory of it.
I'm sitting there on the phone laughing and just out of the blue he says, "I want to go out with you."

Just knowing that even in his subconscious that he still liked me? That was enough to make my night. :)

Here's to young love,
that goes through a lot, but comes out on top. 
 Here's to being complete dorks sometimes.
 Here's to being 1/12 done with the time I have to spend away from him.